Life Lessons from a Picnic Table

My husband and I don’t see eye to eye on everything.  Shocking, I know.  And early on in our marriage we learned a significant lesson.
We bought a house together that has a nicely landscaped backyard.  Neither on of us had any patio furniture but we felt it was an investment we should consider.  So off we went, to multiple stores, combed flyers, looking online and the price of furniture continued to be a hurdle.  We just didn’t want to spend thousands of dollars on patio furniture, and then there was the Manitoba worry – what do we do with it in the winter? If we leave it outside it won’t last as long. Where will we store it? This circle of shopping discontent continued for almost the whole summer.
Then, one day I said, “do you know what I want?  I want a picnic table.” A simple, easy, functional picnic table.  And much to my surprise so did my husband.  We had spent countless hours of time and effort shopping for furniture neither one of us wanted.  Why did we do that?  We did that because we both thought the other person wanted the furniture and we wanted each other to get what we wanted.  We assumed and didn’t confirm and were well on our way to getting something neither of us wanted. 
How often does that happen to you?  How often do you get surprized because you assumed something?  I think it happens a lot.  Assumption is lazy communication.  Maybe you don’t want to ask or don’t want to have the conversation or confrontation, or maybe you just don’t want to know?  Maybe its just easier?  Or is it?
Here is another example; through other people’s impressions and opinions I had assumed some not so nice things about someone.  I kept that perception for a decade or more, and contributed to it by gossiping about them when provided the chance. This ‘someone’ and I ended up having a conversation one day, then I had another, then my husband had one with them…and so on.  And I realized that I had formed my opinion about them based on other people’s perceptions. I had judged them because I assumed they were who these people said they were, but in fact, they are – kind, considerate, authentic and from everything I can tell unique and accepting.  Not to forget smart and successful. This ‘someone’ has even offered to help me be successful. This is a good person.
I am ashamed of my assumption. I was wrong.
The amount of time we spend assuming and judging each other unfairly feels overwhelming for me sometimes.  And unnecessary.  What if we made an effort to assume a little less, what if we became more aware of our own brain and our own judgments?  What if we allowed people to show us who they are and didn’t let other people taint our view?  What if we stopped the gossip and the erroneous story telling?  What if we just didn’t allow that in our day? 
If you are leading a team, and I think you are all leading something somewhere and in some way, what are you assuming about people on your team that might not be true?  How does that assumption affect how you do or do not offer behavioural corrections?  Are you being fair?  And if you are assuming things about them, what are they assuming about you?  And how does that affect their responses and respect for you?

What are you assuming that is wrong?  What is your picnic table?
6 Comments
  • 醫學美容 Co2激光脫癦 cosmedicbook
    Posted at 01:19h, 23 October

    紅石榴保濕噴霧 重水保濕噴霧 清肌保濕噴霧 瑕疵遮瑕膏 修容霜 護眼修飾霜 眼部遮瑕修護筆 亮白蓋斑霜 香茅SPF30 香茅蚊怕水 古銅暗影粉2號 胭脂輪廓修飾 點綴立體修容 奇幻腮紅 亮麗持久胭脂膏 深層修護滋養潤唇霜 保濕護唇膏

  • 醫學美容-原生露-衰老-cosmetic-wiki
    Posted at 15:42h, 28 October

    3A All About A Day 【頭髮系列】3A鼠尾草精油洗髮精的商品介紹 UrCosme (@cosme TAIWAN) 商品資訊 3A All About A Day,頭髮系列,3A鼠尾草精油洗髮精

  • Football Solutions UEFA Champions League - Real Madrid - Matches
    Posted at 05:11h, 09 November

    Antonio Conte has declared his Chelsea side are in a state of ’emergency’. Conte has insisted that there are no young players ready to step up into the first team. Antonio Conte can’t put faith in Chelsea’s youth and believes his Blues side are in a state of ’emergency’

  • Football Solutions European Qualifiers - Montenegro - Marko Vešović - Statistics
    Posted at 00:44h, 10 November

    Nathan Byrne has refused to let himself look at Harry Kane and wonder what might have been. Swindon’s whizz kid winger walked out of White Hart Lane when Andre Villas Boas was in charge. Swindon winger Nathan Byrne refuses to look back at what could’ve been as former Tottenham youngster eyes promotion

  • futbol.run UEFA EURO 1996 - History - Croatia-Estonia Statistics
    Posted at 11:29h, 19 November

    Arsenal’s training was cut short by a storm but that bad weather could not force England midfielder Jack Wilshere to head for cover. Jack Wilshere causes a splash as Arsenal players abandon training after being caught in storm

  • futbol.run - Women's Under-19 2010 - Germany-Poland
    Posted at 11:32h, 19 November

    The No 10 shirt, the signature number of the creator with the end product, the playmaker. I craved it when I was coming up through the ranks playing junior football. GLENN HODDLE: Lionel Messi’s stunning performance is proof No 10 is football’s magic number

Post A Comment