It’s time.

I haven’t written in a long time, or, a long time for me. I shelved writing in the tornado that became my life which is likely counter-productive because writing has always been cathartic and revealing for me. So, today…

It’s time.

December 31, 2017, it’s time. Time to let go of a very challenging year, full of mistakes and heartache, fear and quietness. I have spent the better part of the last few years being quiet. Very quiet.

By nature I am not a quiet person, a friend recently called me a ‘chatty Cathy’ and that took me by surprise. I was or used to be, a chatty Cathy, lots to say, some good things and some just words. I got quiet in my life. I didn’t lose the talkativeness or the desire to chat or even share what was on my mind and heart. I got quiet, I think because I got tired of talking. Tired of saying the same things over and over and not feeling heard. Tired of waiting for a response, which I don’t think, was ever going to come. Tired of working to find the right words at the right time and delivering them in the right way. Tired of it feeling uphill, all the way, both ways. I just got tired.

Now, I’m tired of being tired. I’m tired of not sleeping well, not thinking well. Tired of being quiet.

I’m not a huge believer in New Year’s resolutions only because I believe we should always be looking to set goals and to change, to evolve. I believe in a constant evolution, a constant effort to look forward and dream and work to be better than you were yesterday, or two minutes ago. I didn’t give up being better, I gave up my voice, I quieted my spirit in order to serve others or truthfully, to wait for others. I’m tired of waiting.

I am grateful for the myriad of ah-ha moments, the abundant kindness from friends and family, my cats and my million-dollar dog, the child of my heart, the basic necessities of life, the truckload of things I don’t need but want and have, and the opportunity to focus on the challenge of today because the challenge of the yesterday’s is just that, yesterday.

Robin Roberts said, “be grateful, but never content,” which prompted an epiphany for me. I have often felt that a lack of contentment actually meant I was ungrateful, but that’s not true. I am grateful, my discontent is linked to my drive, my desire, my ambition, my worldview, my wanting to do better, be better, to learn, to grow, to experience life in a way that I believe is truly intended. I don’t actually want to be content. Contentment is the enemy of growth and I want to grow, even if it means there is pain in doing so.

This last year has been chalked full of lessons for me – lessons in business, in love, in perseverance, in gratitude, in resilience, in the unexpected, in the power of prayer, in my own unknown strength, in the blessing of people, and in the miracle of timing. I have been reminded, a thousand times, of how much I don’t know, and yet, how much I do.

I rest in knowing that this too shall pass and that it all leads somewhere, even if I have no idea where that somewhere is. 2017 was difficult on many many levels, but there were some good things weaved into those hardships. And I would be remiss in not acknowledging the beauty that can come from tragedy.

So, no to contentment, yes to gratitude. No to just taking what I am given, yes to expressing what I want (and accepting I won’t always get it). No to being quiet, yes to using my voice.

I am hopeful for the next 365 days.

So, welcome home 2018 and may you be a good guest unlike your predecessor 2017, who clearly overstayed.

She stood in the storm and when the wind did not blow her way, she adjusted her sails. – Elizabeth Edwards

12 Comments
  • Michelle Manary
    Posted at 20:26h, 31 December

    You know how to do this. You may not like it, understand it or want it, but you know how. Sending you big love through your transitions. I’m always available for a chat. Onward and forward with love.

  • Catherine mcfadden
    Posted at 01:02h, 01 January

    Our Pastor said this today. Life is like riding a bicycle. You get on and ride. You keep on peddling and peddling because whether you rea.lize it or not, the Holy Spirit is always with you directing you, helping you make choices because He has plans for you. God bless you. Keep peddling.

  • Deanna Way
    Posted at 16:37h, 01 January

    Thank you! Thank you for not being quiet and thank you for writing these truly remarkable and inspiring words. As I awake and too, think of 2018, this post of your words brings a smile to my face. I wish for you in the next 365 days an abundance of wishes for warmth, happiness and loudness in your life!

  • Sheri
    Posted at 01:25h, 09 January

    Thanks for sharing.

  • siteadmin
    Posted at 15:49h, 09 January

    Thank you, Deanna, for this thoughtful and kind message. I wish the same for you.

  • siteadmin
    Posted at 15:50h, 09 January

    Thank you, for this message. Life is like riding a bicycle, and sometimes it is uphill. But I’m still riding so there is always hope. 🙂 Happy New Year.

  • siteadmin
    Posted at 15:50h, 09 January

    You. Are. Very. Smart.
    Thank you.

  • 醫學美容-護霜-網購-cosmetic-wiki
    Posted at 02:38h, 26 October

    流行時尚: 縮乳手術跟平胸手術是一樣的嗎?能分享經驗嗎? 流行時尚: 縮乳手術跟平胸手術是一樣的嗎?能分享經驗嗎?

  • zvodretiluret
    Posted at 04:31h, 05 November

    Pretty section of content. I just stumbled upon your blog and in accession capital to assert that I acquire in fact enjoyed account your blog posts. Anyway I will be subscribing to your feeds and even I achievement you access consistently quickly.

  • Football Solutions Spain stronger in Turkish reunion
    Posted at 11:19h, 09 November

    Phil Jones has lauded England and Manchester United team-mate Marcus Rashford following his match-winning display at Wembley on Monday night.  Manchester United starlet Marcus Rashford will be a ‘world beater one day’, insists team-mate Phil Jones

  • Football Solutions Giorgos Donis - News
    Posted at 01:17h, 10 November

    Nottingham Forest striker Ben Brereton has agreed personal terms with Blackburn Rovers ahead of a proposed £6million transfer, Sportsmail understands. Nottingham Forest striker Ben Brereton agrees to join Blackburn Rovers in £6million transfer

  • futbol.run UEFA Europa League - Dinamo Bucureşti-Heerenveen
    Posted at 20:18h, 21 November

    Centre back Vidic barely trained in his final years, only featuring in matches, and when he did not feel fit enough to even play in those, Sir Alex Ferguson told him he had another thing coming. Manchester United legend Nemanja Vidic opens up on Sir Alex Ferguson and risking injury for his side: ‘You can fix your nose, but if you let somebody score, your pride cannot be fixed’

Post A Comment